One of the things that no one really thinks about when thinking of divorce is the fact that your sex life is about to change. For some, maybe your married sex life wasn’t all of that. Therefore, the divorce isn’t and hasn’t made a difference. For others, there just may be a huge change. I’ve read where women were so upset because their ex was really giving it to them the way they liked. So they are now struggling to find a man that can even halfway meet the goal. I mean, seriously here, this is a real issue that no one speaks on. Yet, here I am. Keeping it completely Reel. Smile.
I divorced in 2014. It’s now 2021. You do the math. I don’t need to. I’m living it. I’ll be honest, no I have not been without sex THAT long. I’ve had my share. Don’t look like that. I did say I would be honest!!! LOL!!! However, for the last two years, I have been abstinent. I often think to myself if this was because I wasn’t in a relationship or because I truly had self-control. After doing a little inventory, I was lowkey proud to say that I was able to go through this because it’s what I wanted. It’s what I knew I needed to do. It’s what I knew God wanted of me. Now. I’m not the abstinence police. That’s between you and YOUR God. I wanted to abstain because I knew the things that I was doing in life; mentoring women, pReaching, and being a mother to teenage girls. I knew that those jobs required more of me. Those roles pushed me to want to be able to have clear thinking. It’s not like guys haven’t tried. It’s not like I haven’t had calls of “let me come by”. I just knew I was more than a come by.
I don’t know what your reason may be….or if you even have a reason to be abstinent. These are mine. Is it easy? Nah. But what I now know is that it is doable. When I tried to attack this subject in the past, I was like, “HOW?” Will I challenge you to follow my footsteps? NOPE. Because I am not perfect. So you must walk your own path. I want to shed light on my own journey. I also want to shed light on the topic as a whole. As I always say, “someone has to, why not me”.
-Lavonya
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